ANGER | CONTROL | DEPRESSION

DEPRESSION

How To Deal With Anger - by Dr. Preston T. Bailey, Jr.

Depression is usually defined as a low period in one's life or an emotional state marked by sadness, inactivity, or difficulty in thinking clearly. It often results in feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, a sense of rejection, and pessimistic or negative thoughts. There are many different causes of depression. Psychology Today reports that there are 9 million adults in the United States that suffer from depression. There are approximately 7 million people who are clinically depressed. Women are more prone to get depressed at a ratio of 2 to 1 compared to men.

Depression can be a symptom of something more serious such as the flu or it can be a reaction to circumstances or events in life. Many people get depressed because the American population is getting older and people are living longer. Teenagers are living in difficult times and find it a struggle to discover purpose and meaning in life. It is common now for children to get depressed. Increased stress in our society has resulted in many people becoming disillusioned and depressed.

There are basically two types of depression. The first type is "normal depression" which is often caused by everyday problems and stress. This can result in a feeling of sadness, discouragement, and a hollow feeling. The second type of depression is called "Clinical depression." This is when depression is severe in intensity or frequency. It usually hinders a persons normal functioning in life such as sleep patterns, appetite, or relationships. If this occurs, treatment is vital.

FALSE BELIEFS ABOUT DEPRESSION

  1. Depression is a result of sin every time.
  2. Depression is caused by a lack of faith in God.
  3. Depression is caused by God turning his back against you.
  4. Depression can only be healed by spiritual activities.
  5. Depression cannot be caused by health problems.

HEALING FROM DEPRESSION

  1. Healing can occur through supernatural means from God.
  2. Healing can occur through the use of physicians.
  3. Healing can occur through the use of spiritual practices.
  4. Healing can occur through the use of medicine.
  5. Healing can occur through Christian living.
  6. Healing can occur through salvation.
  7. Healing can occur through Christian support.

FACTS ABOUT DEPRESSION

  • Depression is the most misunderstood of all the emotions. There are 9 million adults in the United States who are victims of depression every year.
  • 15% of these 9 million adults attempt suicide.
  • 10-12 million experience depression sometime during the year.
  • 7 million people are "clinically depressed" at any one time and do not seek help.
  • Women get depressed more than men at a ratio of 2 to 1.
  • More young adults 18-44 years old get depressed than any other age.
  • People of all ages get depressed.
  • Separated and divorced people get more depressed than those who never marry or those married people.
  • Depression is higher in people of lower socioeconomic status.
  • Heredity can also play a factor in depression.
  • Children and teenagers are becoming more depressed than any other generation.
  • The fast and stressful pace of life is a factor in depression.
  • Changing values in our society can cause disillusionment, which often results in depression.

FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS OF DEPRESSION

  • "I feel overwhelmed! There is no way out!"
  • "Things are hopeless! They will never get better!"
  • "There is no hope"
  • "I can't take it any more!"
  • "What's the use? I feel worthless!"
  • "I'm no good. I am a total failure. I can't do anything right."
  • "My life is ruined!"

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF DEPRESSION

  1. HOPELESSNESS
  2. SADNESS
  3. DESPAIR
  4. CHANGES IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES
  5. ANGER
  6. FEELINGS OF GUILT
  7. OVER SENSITIVITY
  8. DEPENDENCE ON OTHERS
  9. AVOIDANCE BEHAVIOR
  10. WITHDRAWAL FROM PEOPLE
  11. LOSS OF SELF-ESTEEM
  12. THOUGHTS OF DEATH
  13. PESSIMISM
  14. LOSS OF PERSPECTIVE
  15. INABILITY TO COPE WITH STRESS
  16. IDLENESS

THE CAUSES OF DEPRESSION

  1. LACK OF REST
  2. HORMONAL DISEASES OF THE ADRENAL & THYROID GLANDS
  3. INFECTIONS
  4. NUTRITIONAL DEFICIENCY
  5. TUMORS OF THE BRAIN OR PANCREAS
  6. MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS
  7. PARKINSONŐS DISEASE
  8. LOW BLOOD PRESSURE

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF DEPRESSION

IDENTIFY AND COPE WITH ANY LOSS

Identify any loss in your life that you may have. There are many losses in life: a loss of self-esteem, the loss of a job, loss of a relationship, a loss through death, a loss of health, a financial loss, a loss of face, loss of acceptance by someone significant, a loss of an opportunity, loss of social status or position, or any other type of loss. Recognize what specific loss or losses you have had over the last year or so.

Decide if the loss is concrete or abstract. A concrete loss are those things that can be measured, seen, or touched such as a loss relating to people or things like a car, a house, or a job. This is something that is tangible. An abstract loss is an idea or concept that is not physical in nature but has a perceived value. An abstract loss is like a loss of self-respect, a loss of love, a loss of status, or a loss of control. An actual concrete loss can affect an abstract loss. A concrete loss is like losing a job that may result in an attitude of a loss of self-competency, which is an abstract loss as well.

Separate real, imagined, and threatened losses. Decide if the loss is real or not. Remember, a real loss can be either concrete or abstract. If it is real loss, then do your best to face the reality of the loss. The sooner you face the reality of your loss, then the sooner you will overcome your depression. You can begin to face the reality of your loss by talking about it to someone: a trusted friend who will listen, a minister or rabbi, or a counselor.

Change an imagined loss into a real loss. An imagined loss is simply the results of exaggeration or distorted thinking. When someone is anxious, it is easy to imagine all sorts of bad things that could happen. An imagined loss can be changed into a real loss by testing to see if it is really true. If you imagine that someone does not like you, then talk to the person about how you feel. If you imagine you are sick, then go to the doctor. If you imagine you will lose your job, then talk to your boss about it and find out if it is true. If you imagine you will suffer financial ruin then talk to the experts and find out the truth. If you think you will lose an important relationship then talk to him or her about it. When in doubt, then find out. Don't let your imagination run wild! Avoid overgeneralization by taking a single unpleasant incident and applying it to every similar situation in life. Depression can also occur from exaggerating thinking by exaggerating your errors and minimizing your successes. Be careful that you do not distort your view of yourself or your situations by negative thinking.

Convert a threatened loss into a real loss by confronting the possible loss. Life is full of potential losses such as the threat of children leaving home, serious illness, financial catastrophe, etc. If your doctor has told you that you have a terminal disease, then find out all the facts you can about it and prepare for the worse but hope for the best. Do not give up. Accept the reality of your circumstances the best you can. Get as many people as possible to help you. Delegate your worries to professionals. If you have a medical problem then call a doctor. If you have a legal problem then call a lawyer. If you have a financial problem, then call a financial advisor. If you have a spiritual problem then call a minister.

Work through the process of loss by giving yourself permission to feel the pain. Don't try to cover it up with alcohol or drugs. Talk to someone about your pain who will listen. But place a limit to how often you will think of your pain. Set a time limit such as between 6:00 and 7:00 PM "I will think or talk about my pain." If you think of your pain at other times then tell yourself to wait until 6:00 PM.

Develop a healthy perspective of the loss. Any loss is painful but in order to accept the pain you have to come to some type of closure by developing a specific belief statement. It should be a one or two sentence statement that can be written down and easily understandable. We need to develop healthy attitudes about the painful things in life. A glass is either half empty or half full depending on your attitude. What we think about something affects how we feel.

If you have to assume anything, assume the positive instead of the negative. People who get depressed often have several false beliefs that need to be corrected.

GET A PHYSICAL EXAM
Get a complete physical checkup. Sometimes people get depressed because of a biological health problem. Even if you have a medical problem, the sooner you get it checked out the better you will be. Luke was a physician.

CONSTRUCTIVE OUTLET
Find a constructive physical outlet for your stress. Start an exercise program. Before you begin an exercise program make sure you get a complete checkup from your doctor. Our bodies are designed so that after we exercise or do something physical, we calm down. When you feel anxious or depressed you probably will not feel like doing anything. So make a list of exercises, hobbies, or activities that you can do when you start to get depressed. Then just go out and start the activity even though you don't feel like it. Feelings follow actions. You change your feelings by changing your behavior. Make sure you get plenty of rest and go to sleep at regular times. Participate in regular recreation activities. Exercise at least 3 times a week for 20 minutes. Jesus walked daily. Participate in planned recreation activities. - I Corinthians 9:27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (NIV)

DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOR
Develop a sense of humor. When you start to get depressed, watch old funny movies that you have recorded or purchased. Go out to a comedy club. Purchase or rent humorous videotapes like sports bloopers or something that makes you laugh. Learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes.

  • Proverbs 15:13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (NIV)
  • Prov 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (NIV)

FORGIVE OTHERS
When people have done things to hurt you, learn to forgive them. That does not mean you have to continue to allow others to hurt you. Just try to avoid dwelling on the pain and hurt that others have caused you. They can continue to hurt you if you dwell on the pain they caused. - Matt 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (NIV) - Matt 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)

THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS
Think of positive things in your life and focus on what you can do in the future. Those depressed often think of the past. Focus your thoughts on the future and what you can accomplish. Renew your mind with Scripture.

  • Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will. (NIV)
  • 2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (NIV)
  • Psalm 1:2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. (NIV)

SEEK COUNSELING
Find a friend or counselor to talk with about your problems.

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (NIV)

  • Prov 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. (KJV)
  • Prov 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
  • Prov 24:6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety. (KJV)

GET EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Find friends who will help you and encourage without judging you. Get someone who is a good listener.

  • Gal 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)
  • Rom 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. (NIV)

PLAN YOUR RESPONSE
Have a specific procedure for dealing with problems that arise. Have several hobbies or activities to participate in when depression starts to set in. Paul made tents. Make a list of 10 things that you will do whenever you start to get depressed.

  • Prov 2:9-12 Then you will discern righteousness and justice and equity {and} every good course. For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; Discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you, To deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things; (NAU)

BALANCE
Work at maintaining a balanced lifestyle. - II Timothy 1:7 for God has not given us the spirit of timidity but of power, of love, and a balanced mind.

AVOID DRUGS
Only take medicine when advised by a physician. Avoid the use of alcohol, drugs, etc.

  • I Timothy 5:23 Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses. (NIV)

GET PLENTY OF REST
Get adequate rest and sleep. Eat balanced meals. Levitical laws dealt with diet. Eat from the 4 food groups.

  • Matt 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (NIV)

SCHEDULE ACTIVITIES DAILY
Plan daily activities ahead of time and try to stick to your schedule even though you may not FEEL like it.

  • Gal 5:24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. (NIV)
  • James 1:22-24 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. (NIV)
  • Prov 6:6-8 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. (NIV)

BE AROUND PEOPLE
Join a social group or plan activities involving other people.

  • Galatians 6:2 says "bear one anothers burdens."

SPIRITUAL DEVOTIONS
Set aside time daily for prayer, Bible Study, and Scripture memory.

  • 2 Tim 2:15 Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (KJV)
  • Ps 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. (KJV) Attend church every week unless physically ill.
  • Heb 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-- and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (NIV)
  • 1 Cor 16:1-2 Now about the collection for God's people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. (NIV)

MINISTER TO OTHERS
Participate in some ministry where you can help others.

  • Eph 4:11-13 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. (NIV)
  • Rom 12:5-8 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that showeth mercy, with cheerfulness. (KJV)
  • 2 Tim 2:2 And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. (NIV)

RESOLVE ANGER DAILY
Resolve anger in relationships before the sun goes down.

  • Eph 4:26-27 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV)
  • Matt 5:23-25 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. (NIV)

CONFRONT FEARS
Confront your fears in an appropriate manner.

  • Prov 3:25-26 Do not be afraid of sudden fear nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes; For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. (NAU)
  • Ps 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid? (NIV)

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Set realistic expectations for yourself and those around you and look at the positive aspect of circumstances.

  • Prov 3:7-8 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. (NIV)
  • Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things. (NIV) Do not dwell on the past but set goals for the future and work towards them.
  • Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (NIV) Set high enough standards for your habits and behavior.
  • Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (NAU)
  • 1 Tim 4:8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. (NIV)
  • 2 Pet 1:5-7 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. (NIV)

AVOID ALLERGIES
Avoid any substances that you may be allergic to.

BE ASSERTIVE
Set limits for your life and learn to be assertive. Try to limit major changes in your life over a 2-year period to reduce stress.

  • Eccl 12:12 Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. (NIV)
  • Prov 4:14-15 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. (NIV)

TRUST IN THE LORD
Trust in the Lord to help you with problems that you cannot solve by yourself.

  • Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (KJV)

CONSTRUCTIVE ACTIVITY
Get up and do something constructive. Most people that are depressed do not feel like doing anything. Just get up and do anything.

  • Jms.1:22- be ye doers of the word and not hearers only deceiving your own selves

ANGER | CONTROL | DEPRESSION

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