Attachment Styles in Relationships


Relationships can be difficult at times, and while many things can contribute to the success or failure of relationships, how we attach to others (also known as our attachment style) is one facet of how we interact that can impact our relationships. An attachment style can best be described as patterns of relating to other people that typically develop within the first 2-3 years of life – a blueprint if you will. This blueprint can affect how you relate to others in adulthood in intimate relationships as well as how you relate to, and parent, your children.

Attachment styles have been extensively studied and, while they’re only one facet of how we interact in relationships, it can be important to know and understand your own attachment style and how it may impact your personal relationships.

Typically, we attach either securely or insecurely in childhood. If we attach securely as children, we will typically attach securely as adults. This means that in our adult relationships we will usually feel confident that our partners will be there for us when needed, and we will be open to depending on others and having others depend on us. However, if we have insecure attachments as children, we may be anxious or avoidant in our adult relationships. If we have an anxious attachment style, we may worry that others may not love us completely, or we might be easily frustrated or angered when our needs go unmet in the relationship. If we have an avoidant attachment style, we may appear not to care much about close relationships, and may prefer not to be too dependent on other people or not want others to be too dependent on us.

To learn more about your attachment style, you can take a free short assessment at the following link – https://www.yourpersonality.net/relstructures/

How we relate to others can sometimes cause frustrations that we have trouble navigating on our own. If you’re experiencing challenges in your relationships please reach out to Lighthouse Counseling – we’re here to help you overcome those challenges.