Wow this is quite a list. Emotions are complex and many times they can be overwhelming. Finding a balance between being rational and emotional at the same time when we make decisions in our life can be difficult. Other times, we experience situations in life and have an emotion because of the situation; such as everyday events, job loss, divorce, marriage, death, birth of a child, trauma, natural disasters the list goes on and on.

I know this past week I have had many emotions in regards to COVID19, my family’s health, school closing, homeschooling my child, staying at home, working from home, having 3 kids at home to entertain, not knowing when life will return to “normal.” It can be difficult to regulate these emotions at times. Emotional regulation is a skill that we all could use a little work on. When we learn to have healthy emotional regulation, it can also be an example for our children or others around us. 

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) gives us some ways to improve on our emotional regulation skills.

Opposite action is an idea derived from dialectical behavior therapy. We experience an event, have an emotion, then have an action. For example, we get angry then we yell, we get sad then we may isolate ourselves and cry. The idea behind opposite action is exactly that, doing the opposite behavior then we normally would. So instead of yelling when you get angry, try talking calmly. When you are sad and feel like isolating yourself, reach out to someone.

Another emotional regulation skill is checking the facts in regards to your emotions. Ask yourself the following questions.

1. What triggered by emotion?
2. What interpretations or assumptions am I making about the event?
3. Does my emotion and its intensity match the facts of the situation? Or does it just match my assumptions of the situation? 

Paying attention to positive events is another skill to help manage our emotions. At this time, you may be asking how can I pay attention to any positive events right now, I just lost my job, the world is in a pandemic, my family is struggling financially, etc. Positivity over time adds up and in time can increase your overall happiness. 

Practice this new way of reacting by doing a small positive activity everyday while making a point to acknowledge the good parts (even if things aren’t perfect) Don’t let minor problems ruin the moment.

Here are some examples:

• Have a picnic
• Go for a walk
• Listen to music you enjoy
• Try a new hobby
• Watch a funny movie
• Visit with a friend
• Anything that makes you happy