Anger is a normal human emotion that can cause problems in our life. Feelings of anger can range depending on the person feeling it, the situation that caused it, and the amount of time someone has been angry. Anger is also a safe emotion to have as people understand anger and most people feel comfortable saying, “I am angry”. However, anger is not always the emotion people are feeling. Whether people know it or not, some people use anger to mask their real emotions.
One way to look at anger is as an iceberg where anger is at the surface and all other emotions are hidden underneath it. Those hidden emotions are often feelings of disappointment, sadness, embarrassments, helplessness, frustration, guilt, fear, anxiety, jealousy, and more. With anger as the top of the iceberg we can hide behind it instead of acknowledge the true feelings hidden underneath. This can cause problems because if we do not know our true emotion, we may not be able to decrease our feelings and reduce our anger.
When you notice yourself feeling angry, ask yourself, “Why am I angry?”. When you are able to understand the thoughts behind your feelings of anger, you can discover the hidden emotions and work towards processing those feelings.
“When pain, misery, or anger happen, it is time to look within you, not around you.” -Sadhguru
Keli Hinkemeyer earned her Master of Science degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from St. Cloud State University, MN after completing her Bachelor of Science degree in Chemical Dependency and Community Psychology from St. Cloud State University, MN. She has a history of working with individuals who have spent time in the criminal justice system and are on parole. She has worked with individuals who have had an alcohol, substance, and behavioral addiction.