Loneliness is a universal human experience, and its effects on our relationships and mental health cannot be underestimated. At Lighthouse Counseling LTD, we understand the significance of addressing loneliness and its consequences. In this blog post, we will delve into the causes of loneliness, the symptoms to watch for, and what you can do to combat it.

I was once told that Loneliness is terror pushed from abandonment that causes insecurities. Loneliness is responsible for the erosion of relationships and the deterioration of mental health. In over 30 years of providing counseling services it is my professional opinion that loneliness is one of the major causes of an individual’s mental health decline and what often brings people into counseling. This opinion has been validated tremendously since COVID as we find Mental health clinics developing waiting lists for people who need treatment due experiencing increased symptoms of depression and anxiety caused by isolation that can also contribute to substance abuse.

 Even today with most restrictions being lifted, people are recognizing their isolation and struggles with anxiety, depression and relationship conflict.

Loneliness can manifest in several ways. Common symptoms include:

Emotional Distress: Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or anxiety.

Physical Symptoms: Insomnia, headaches, or changes in appetite.

Reduced Social Engagement: Withdrawal from social activities and friends.

Negative Self-Perception: Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy.

Loneliness is a common human experience, but it can have a significant impact on our relationships and mental health. When we feel lonely, we may feel isolated, disconnected from others, and misunderstood. This can lead to a number of negative consequences, including:

Increased risk of mental health problems: Loneliness has been linked to a number of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.

Relationship problems: Loneliness can make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. When we feel lonely, we may become more withdrawn and less likely to connect with others. This can lead to conflict and misunderstandings in our relationships.

Physical health problems: Loneliness has also been linked to a number of physical health problems, including heart disease, stroke, and dementia.

One must remember that loneliness is not the same as aloneness. A person can be alone but not lonely or around a lot of people but struggle with deep loneliness. . Some of the loneliest people describe having family, friends and even being married.

As I counsel couples every day, it is often said that I would rather be by myself than lonely in this relationship.

So why are people so lonely? This isn’t a new phenomenon, just as the Beatles sang: All the lonely people, where do they all come from. 

Some critics blame technology. Children and families isolate themselves on their phones. Kids are busy with activities but have no time to build and enjoy close friendships. Families are busy going from activity to activity with no time to develop deeper, meaningful relationships. I remember hiking with my friends and we would lie on the ground in a field and find figures in the clouds. We attempted to escape boredom by being creative. We talked about life, friends, dreams and goals. We hung out and actually looked at each other when we talked. 

So how do we fight this epidemic of loneliness? Loneliness is not only a family issue but a cultural issue. 

1)    Reduce online time.

2)   Put your phones in a basket when you walk in the house

3)   Have Staff meetings with your spouse. Talk about your goals, dreams,

       concerns etc.  Remember that your marriage comes first. Children succeed by seeing a strong marriage not getting to do or               have everything they want.

4)   Have family meetings with your children to discuss their day, how their doing, their goals, obstacles, thoughts and feelings

5)   Develop relational habits, your phone has been addicting. You may even feel anxiety when you put it down.

6)   Talk to someone you trust. Talking to a friend, family member, therapist, or other trusted person can help you to feel less alone             and to develop coping mechanisms.

7)  Get involved in your community. Volunteering, joining a club or group, or taking a class are all great ways to meet new people              and make friends.

8)  Spend time with loved ones. Make an effort to spend time with the people you care about. This can help you to feel more                      connected and supported.

9)  Take care of yourself. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Taking care of your physical and          mental health can help you to feel better overall and make it easier to connect with others.

10)  Seek professional help and  have someone assist you with stress management, anxiety reduction, communication, conflict                   resolution and improved closeness and intimacy. Remember you do not need to be alone in your struggle with loneliness.                     Reach out to us at Lighthouse Counseling LTD, and together, we can navigate this journey towards improved mental health and         stronger relationships.

By: Larry R. Bengtson LPCC

           Founder of Lighthouse Counseling, Ltd.