Lighthouse Counseling Ltd. Blog

Sex. It’s everywhere—advertising, social media, TV shows, movies, and, of course, the internet. For Christian men, navigating our sexual integrity in this culture is not just a challenge—it’s often a battle. But how do you know when it crosses a line? When does “being visual” or “just having a high libido” turn into something more serious? At some point, many men find themselves asking: “Am I a sex addict?” If that question makes you uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Many men wrestle with sexual struggles in silence, guilt, and shame. But the truth is, freedom starts with honesty. Common Excuses That Hide a Deeper Issue One of the first signs of sexual addiction isn’t just the behavior—it’s the excuses we use to justify it. Here are a few we hear often in counseling: “I just have a higher libido than most guys.” While libido varies from person to person, using this as a reason to watch porn daily, visit strip clubs, or engage in risky sexual behavior may be masking a deeper issue. “At least I’m not cheating. You should see what other guys are doing.” If you're constantly escaping into porn, chat rooms, or emotional affairs, you're still stepping outside the bounds of faithfulness—even if there’s no physical infidelity. “I can stop anytime I want.” But you haven’t. And when you try, the withdrawal, irritability, or relapse cycle keeps pulling you back in. “It’s not hurting anyone.” Sexual addiction often leads to broken trust, isolation, spiritual numbness, and even damage to marriages and families. Excuses don’t lead to healing. But truth does. Is It Addiction or Just a Struggle? Sexual addiction isn’t just about frequency—it’s about compulsivity. When sexual behaviors start to control you, interfere with your relationships, impact your spiritual life, or go against your values, it may be more than just a "struggle." Here are a few questions to consider: Do I feel powerless to stop my sexual behaviors, even when I want to? Have I tried to quit before but found myself going back? Do I keep secrets from my spouse, friends, or church community? Have my sexual habits escalated over time (more graphic content, riskier behavior)? Do I use sex or porn to cope with stress, boredom, or emotional pain? If you answered yes to several of these, it’s time to take a deeper look. Take the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) Developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the field of sexual addiction recovery, the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is a confidential, validated tool used by professionals around the world. It helps you evaluate whether your behaviors align with patterns of sexual addiction. You can take the test online here: https://psychology-tools.com/test/sast It only takes a few minutes, and it could be the first real step toward healing. There Is Hope. You’re Not Alone. Sexual addiction thrives in secrecy. But healing begins in community. At Lighthouse Counseling, we provide confidential, grace-filled counseling for men struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors. Whether you're dealing with porn addiction, infidelity, or other sexual strongholds, we’re here to walk with you. We also encourage finding a support group , such as: ● Pure Desire (puredesire.org) ● Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) ● Celebrate Recovery These communities offer encouragement, accountability, and the powerful reminder that you are not the only one fighting this battle—and you don’t have to fight it alone. Next Steps If you’re wondering whether your struggle with sex has become an addiction, don’t ignore that inner nudge. Take the SAST. Pray. Reach out. There is no shame in needing help. But there is freedom in seeking it. Let us walk with you toward healing, redemption, and restored integrity. Contact us today to schedule a confidential session. You are not your addiction. You are a beloved son of God, called to live in truth and freedom. Need help now? Schedule a confidential session with a Christian counselor who understands sexual addiction.

At Lighthouse Counseling LTD in Minnesota, we believe in the transformative power of routines to enhance mental health, boost confidence, and foster personal growth. Incorporating healthy routines into your daily life can create structure, reduce stress, and promote a sense of control. Let’s explore why routines matter and how they can positively impact your emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being. Why Routines Matter for Mental Health Routines are often overlooked, yet they are a powerful tool for improving mental health and personal development. A simple habit, like making your bed each morning, may seem insignificant, but it sets the tone for a productive day. As one of the first tasks you complete, it provides a small sense of accomplishment that can spark a cycle of positive behaviors. This small act can boost confidence, enhance your mindset, and create momentum for tackling larger goals. Research shows that routines provide structure and predictability, which are essential for reducing stress and anxiety. When life feels chaotic, a consistent routine—whether it’s making your bed, practicing mindfulness, or planning your day—offers a sense of control. At Lighthouse Counseling LTD, our Minnesota-based therapists help clients build personalized routines to support mental wellness and emotional balance. The Impact of Healthy vs. Unhealthy Routines Not all routines are created equal. Healthy routines, such as preparing for the next day, engaging in self-care, or spending quality time with loved ones, can be transformative. These habits promote relaxation, productivity, and meaningful connections. Conversely, unhealthy routines—like excessive social media scrolling, procrastination, or neglecting self-care—can hinder personal growth and mental health. For example, an evening routine centered on self-care, such as journaling or reading, can prepare you for restful sleep and a productive tomorrow. On the other hand, spending hours on social media may increase stress and disrupt your mental clarity. By identifying and replacing unhelpful habits with intentional routines, you can create a positive ripple effect in your life. How Routines Enhance Mental Health and Confidence Routines are a cornerstone of mental health because they: Reduce Stress: Consistent habits eliminate the need for constant decision-making, freeing up mental energy and reducing overwhelm. Boost Confidence: Completing small tasks, like making your bed or exercising, builds a sense of accomplishment that carries into other areas of life. Create Predictability: A structured routine fosters stability, which is especially grounding during challenging times. Promote Focus: Routines help you prioritize goals, whether they’re related to self-care, work, or relationships. At Lighthouse Counseling LTD, our Minnesota counselors work with clients to develop routines tailored to their unique needs, helping them achieve emotional and psychological balance. Building Routines Around Key Areas of Life Routines can be applied to various aspects of life, including: Self-Care: Incorporate activities like exercise, meditation, or skincare to prioritize your well-being. Household Tasks: Simple habits like meal planning or tidying up can create a sense of order and accomplishment. Relationships: Schedule time for meaningful connections with family or friends to strengthen bonds. Spiritual Practices: Daily prayer, gratitude, or reflection can nurture your spiritual growth. For instance, a morning routine that includes prayer, a short walk, and planning your day can set a positive tone. Similarly, an evening routine of journaling and relaxation can help you unwind and prepare for restful sleep. The Spiritual Power of Routines For those who draw inspiration from faith, the Bible offers timeless wisdom about the value of routines. Consider these verses: Matthew 6:6 encourages daily prayer and devotion, reminding us that consistent spiritual practices bring us closer to God. Proverbs 12:11 highlights how routine work and integrity lead to abundance and fulfillment. Exodus 20:8-10 emphasizes the importance of rest to achieve balance and honor the Sabbath. Philippians 2:4 inspires us to serve others, fostering kindness and connection through intentional habits. Psalm 118:24 reminds us to approach each day with gratitude, cultivating a positive outlook. By incorporating these principles into your routines, you can nurture both your mental health and spiritual well-being. Start Small, Transform Big The beauty of routines lies in their simplicity. You don’t need to overhaul your life to see results. Start with small, achievable habits—like making your bed, practicing gratitude, or taking a 10-minute walk. These small actions can lead to significant emotional, psychological, physical, and relational benefits. At Lighthouse Counseling LTD in Minnesota, we’re here to support you in creating meaningful routines that align with your goals. Our experienced therapists offer personalized counseling to help you reduce stress, build confidence, and foster personal growth through intentional habits. Take the First Step Toward Positive Change Ready to harness the power of routines to improve your mental health and well-being? Contact Lighthouse Counseling LTD today to schedule a session with one of our compassionate Minnesota therapists. Let us help you create routines that transform your life—one small step at a time.

Life is full of seasons, and some feel like stormy, uncertain chapters. A job loss, a shifting relationship, or a delayed dream can leave you questioning, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I keep it all together?” At Lighthouse Counseling LTD , with locations across Minnesota, I want to remind you of a powerful truth: You’re not broken—you’re becoming. Understanding the Stress of Life Transitions From a clinical perspective, transitions—whether planned or unexpected—can activate your brain’s stress response system. Your nervous system thrives on predictability, so when routines, roles, or relationships change, it’s normal to experience anxiety, irritability, or even depressive symptoms. This discomfort isn’t a sign of failure; it’s your brain and body adapting to new circumstances. At Lighthouse Counseling LTD, our experienced therapists in Minnesota help you navigate these changes with evidence-based approaches. As a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC), I’ve seen how transitions can feel overwhelming but also serve as opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and resilience. Reframing Your Journey with Therapy Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you—it’s about empowering you to reconnect with your inner strength and move forward with clarity and intention. Our counselors use proven therapeutic approaches to guide you through life’s transitions, including: Narrative Therapy: Reframe your story to focus on your resilience and potential, not your struggles. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns to build healthier coping strategies. Values-Based Reflection: Clarify what matters most to you, whether it’s faith, family, creativity, or community, to guide your next steps. In our sessions, we explore meaningful questions to help you gain clarity: What beliefs about yourself are being challenged by this transition? What coping strategies have supported you in the past? What values will anchor you in this new chapter? Our goal is to create a safe, supportive space where you feel seen, heard, and empowered to embrace your evolving self. Personalized Healing for Your Unique Journey At Lighthouse Counseling LTD, we believe healing is not one-size-fits-all. Whether you find strength in mindfulness practices, creative expression, spiritual faith, or community connections, our therapists tailor sessions to your unique needs. With multiple locations across Minnesota, including Huthcinson, Waconia, Willmar, Litchfield, Sauk Rapids, and Shakopee, we’re here to support individuals, couples, and families facing life’s challenges. Our counseling services are designed to help you: Build resilience during times of uncertainty. Develop practical tools to manage stress and anxiety. Rediscover your purpose and direction. Why Choose Lighthouse Counseling LTD? With a team of compassionate, licensed therapists across Minnesota, Lighthouse Counseling LTD is committed to walking alongside you during life’s transitions. Whether you’re grieving a loss, navigating a career change, or seeking clarity in your relationships, our personalized approach helps you move forward with confidence. As Ashley Brinkman, LPCC, I’m dedicated to helping you find your path forward with empathy and expertise. We offer both in-person and telehealth counseling services, making it easy to access support from anywhere in Minnesota. Our flexible scheduling and welcoming environment ensure you can find the care you need, when you need it. Take the Next Step Toward Becoming If you’re in a season of transition, you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Lighthouse Counseling LTD , we’re here to help you rediscover your strength, clarify your values, and embrace the person you’re becoming. Contact us today to schedule a session at one of our Minnesota locations or explore our telehealth options. Ready to start your journey? Reach out to Lighthouse Counseling LTD at 855-454-2463 or visit our website at www.lighthousecounseling.com to learn more about our services and book an appointment. Let’s walk this path together.

At Lighthouse Counseling, LTD, we are thrilled to introduce Abbe Dufault , our newest intern, to our Waconia, MN location. Abbe brings a fresh perspective, a compassionate heart, and a dedication to helping individuals navigate their mental health journeys. Her addition strengthens our mission to provide a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental environment for clients seeking counseling in Waconia and the surrounding areas. Meet Abbe Dufault, Counseling Intern Abbe earned her bachelor’s degree i n psychology from Crown College and is currently pursuing her master’s degree in counseling at the same institution. With a deep commitment to serving her community, Abbe is excited to intern at Lighthouse Counseling, where she can support individuals, families, and couples in achieving emotional and psychological wellness. Abbe’s passion lies in helping clients facing anxiety, depression, and life transitions. She believes everyone has the potential for growth and healing, and she is dedicated to fostering a warm, empathetic space where clients feel truly seen and heard. Her counseling approach is grounded in person-centered therapy and narrative therapy , emphasizing each individual’s unique life story, strengths, and goals. Whether you’re navigating a major life change, struggling with anxiety, or seeking support for depression, Abbe is here to walk alongside you with authenticity and care. Her goal is to empower clients to embrace their true selves and overcome challenges in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. Why Choose Lighthouse Counseling in Waconia, MN? Located in the heart of Waconia, MN, Lighthouse Counseling, LTD is a trusted resource for mental health support in Carver County and beyond. Our team of experienced therapists and interns, including Abbe, offers a wide range of services tailored to meet the unique needs of individuals, couples, and families. We specialize in addressing: Anxiety and Depression: Helping clients manage overwhelming emotions and build coping strategies. Life Transitions: Supporting individuals through major changes, such as career shifts, relationship changes, or personal growth. Couples and Family Counseling: Strengthening relationships and fostering healthy communication. Trauma and Grief: Providing a safe space to process loss and heal from past experiences. Our Waconia location is home to a diverse team of professionals, including Larry Bengtson, MSE, LPCC , the founder of Lighthouse Counseling, who specializes in marriage and couples counseling, and Tomasina Uttecht , another talented intern with a focus on children’s behavioral health and family systems. Together, our team is committed to holistic, evidence-based care that nurtures the emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being of our clients. What Sets Abbe Apart? Abbe’s approach to counseling is both compassionate and structured, blending empathy with a focus on actionable growth. Her use of narrative therapy allows clients to reframe their experiences and discover new perspectives, while her person-centered approach ensures that every session is tailored to the client’s unique needs. Whether you’re seeking support for mental health challenges or guidance through a life transition, Abbe is dedicated to helping you achieve your goals. As a Waconia native, Abbe is deeply connected to the community and understands the unique challenges faced by residents in the area. Her local roots and commitment to mental health make her a valuable addition to our team. Schedule an Appointment with Abbe Dufault Today We invite you to connect with Abbe Dufault at our Waconia, MN counseling center. Whether you’re seeking individual therapy, couples counseling, or support for life transitions, Abbe is ready to provide compassionate, personalized care. At Lighthouse Counseling, we believe in empowering our clients to thrive, and Abbe’s warm and empathetic approach is a perfect fit for this mission. To schedule an appointment with Abbe or any of our skilled therapists, contact Lighthouse Counseling, LTD today. You can reach us through our website or by calling our Waconia office. Let us help you take the first step toward healing and growth. Contact Us Lighthouse Counseling, LTD Waconia, MN Request an Appointment | Contact Counselor

Lighthouse Counseling is excited to announce the newest addition to our team, Carrie McCann, Mental Health Practitioner , a highly skilled counselor bringing expertise and empathy to our Hutchinson, MN location. With a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Liberty University, Carrie is passionate about supporting individuals, couples, and families on their path to change and growth. A Compassionate Approach to Therapy Carrie integrates various therapeutic methods tailored to her clients' needs, with a strong emphasis on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as a starting point. She is also trained in Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT) , ideal for families aiming to resolve conflicts and improve communication. Whether you're new to therapy or looking to restart your journey, Carrie provides a judgment-free, empathetic environment to help you thrive. Areas of Specialty Relational Issues: Marriage and family counseling Complex Trauma: Emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse Anxiety and Depression Spirituality Life Adjustments Career Challenges Grief Carrie offers flexible scheduling with in-person sessions at our Hutchinson, MN office and telehealth options to accommodate your needs. About Carrie In her free time, Carrie loves spending time with her husband and three kids, reading, enjoying Minnesota summers on the lake, pursuing laughter, and savoring dark chocolate. Her personal interests reflect her warm and approachable nature, which she brings into every counseling session. Join Us in Welcoming Carrie! We are thrilled to have Carrie McCann join Lighthouse Counseling. If you're searching for a counselor in Hutchinson, MN, or need telehealth support, contact us today to schedule a session with Carrie and start your journey toward health, peace, and joy.

I once listened to someone reflect on the power of the routine of daily making one’s bed. “It’s such an insignificant thing, right? It’s just a bed I’ll mess up later tonight! What’s the big deal?” Consider this. Making one’s bed to start the day is one of the first opportunities to accomplish something in the day.

Navigating the Emotional Journey: Parenting After an Autism Diagnosis
Receiving a confirmed autism diagnosis for your child can be an overwhelming experience for some, filled with a whirlwind of emotions and uncertainties. As a parent, caretaker, it's natural to seek support and guidance to navigate. Engaging in coun

Love addiction can feel all-consuming. You may find yourself repeatedly seeking validation or fulfillment in relationships, feeling an overwhelming need for love, and sometimes losing sight of your true self in the process. It's easy to confuse this intense desire for connection with healthy love, but the difference is that love addiction can often leave you feeling empty, anxious, and constantly searching for more. If you’re struggling with love addiction, you're not alone. The first step to healing is recognizing that this pattern is not your fault—it’s something you can work through with time and support. Here are three key ways to help you overcome love addiction and begin your journey toward healthy, balanced relationships. 1. Seek Individual Counseling One of the most powerful tools for overcoming love addiction is individual counseling. A licensed therapist specializing in relationship dynamics and addiction can offer you a safe space to explore the root causes of your behavior. Love addiction often stems from unmet emotional needs, past trauma, or low self-worth. A counselor can help you understand the underlying issues that fuel your addiction and guide you in creating healthier coping strategies. Therapy also provides a structured environment where you can unpack your thoughts and feelings, identify harmful patterns, and begin to develop a stronger sense of self outside of relationships. Through therapeutic techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), you’ll gain tools to change destructive thought patterns and build more sustainable emotional resilience. 2. Establish Healthy Boundaries One of the hallmarks of love addiction is a lack of healthy boundaries. You may give too much of yourself to others, even at the expense of your own needs, or find it difficult to say no. To break free, it’s crucial to start practicing healthy boundaries in all your relationships. This includes learning how to communicate your needs, expressing your feelings without guilt, and not sacrificing your happiness for someone else. Start small by setting boundaries in day-to-day interactions—whether it’s with friends, family, or a romantic partner. Over time, this will help you feel more empowered and less dependent on others for validation. Remember, setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about protecting your emotional well-being. 3. Rediscover Your Interests and Passions Love addiction often leads to a loss of self-identity. You may find that you’ve neglected your personal passions, hobbies, or career goals because your focus has been entirely on others. Reconnecting with the things that make you feel fulfilled and alive is an important step toward healing. Start by revisiting activities or hobbies you once enjoyed before relationships took over. This can be anything from painting, writing, or hiking, to diving into new activities that spark your interest. By investing time in yourself, you’ll begin to restore your sense of self-worth and learn to appreciate the love you give yourself, which is the most important kind of love. In Conclusion Overcoming love addiction is a process, and it’s one that requires patience and commitment. Seeking individual counseling, learning to set boundaries, and rediscovering your personal passions are all powerful steps toward healing. Remember that you deserve healthy love, and with the right support, you can create a life that’s not defined by dependency, but by strength, self-love, and balanced relationships. You’re not alone in this journey—healing is possible, and it begins with you.

Healing is a journey back to your truest self. Rogers taught that we’re born whole, but life’s pressures create a divide between our genuine self and the self we think we need to be accepted and "fit in" with the world around us. This incongruence, as he called it, fuels many of our struggles. His solution? A relationship built on empathy, authenticity, and unconditional acceptance. Rogers envisioned the therapist as a facilitator, not a director, asking, “How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for their own personal growth?” • Accurate Empathy : We seek to truly understand your story, validating your experiences with professional skill and heartfelt care. • Congruence: We are genuine and self-aware, aligning our actions with your faith to foster trust. • Unconditional Positive Regard : We see you as —worthy and redeemable—offering acceptance without judgment, as we support your growth. This approach isn’t passive—it’s active listening paired with gentle accountability, tailored to your unique story so you can grow and heal. As expert person-centered counselors Cloud and Townsend write, “As we experience comfort, identification, and truth without judgment, we begin to heal” (2001, pg. 154). Whether you’re new to therapy or a current client seeking deeper insight, we invite you to experience this blend of Rogers’ legacy and faith-based care. Contact us today to start your journey toward congruence, healing, and hope.

Imagine a place where you’re truly heard—where your story matters, and your voice leads the way. Carl Rogers once said, “It does not help, in the long run, to act as though I were something that I am not.” Authenticity, or congruence, is the heartbeat of Person-Centered Therapy. For therapists, this means showing up as real, transparent professionals who genuinely care—never hiding behind a façade—creating a foundation of trust that invites clients to be their true selves.


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